Can't Decide...

Now that this pregnancy is just about over, I'm torn between both wanting baby H to be here already and wanting him to stay right where he is for just a while longer. I'm so anxious to meet him for the first time, to hold him and kiss his little nose but I also know how much I am going to miss having him squirming around inside my belly. It is already hard for me, realizing that this time in our lives will never happen again. Henry will be out in this world of ours so soon and I will never be able to feel him safe inside my stomach again. I know some people have hated being pregnant but I have actually really, really enjoyed it. There is just something so special about having him so close and I don't know if I'm quite ready to give that up just yet.

When I first found out we were having a baby, the end (this week) seemed so far away. I thought this day would take forever to get here and that the journey here would be hard, scary, and challenging. However, these past nine months have flown by faster than any time in my entire life, which makes me wonder why an experience so special and unique has to last such a short amount of time.

Things I am going to miss:

1. Baby kicks inside my belly.
2. The peace of mind knowing that labor is far away.
3. Hearing Henry's heartbeat at my doctor appointments.
4. The excuse to eat anything I want.
5. People staring and smiling at my belly.
6. Looking at baby clothes, size newborn.
7. Thinking about Henry 24/7.
8. Wondering what he looks like.
9. Singing and talking to myself and knowing that he can hear everything.
10. B the cat sleeping next to my belly all night.
11. Braxton Hicks contractions.
12. Ultrasound pictures.
13. Picturing what our new, little family is going to be like.
14. Showing off my preggo stomach.
15. Knowing he is safe and comfortable inside my belly.
16. Baby hiccups.
17. Sleeping so well.
18. Spooning G at night with baby H between us.


Things I am not going to miss:

1. Worrying over kick counts.
2. Leg cramps at night.
3. Always needing to drink ridiculous amounts of water
4. Going into a clothing store and not being able to buy anything new because my stomach is too big.
5. Worrying about labor and delivery.
6. Cervix checks and finger pricks.
7. Heartburn.
8. Hearing horror stories about labor all. the. time.

Things I am looking forward to:

1. Looking Henry in the eyes for the first time ever.
2. Baby snuggling.
3. Showing Henry off to friends and family.
4. A glass of wine and a good whiskey sour.
5. Being able to run.
6. Singing "You Are My Sunshine" to Henry.
7. Having him here, safe with us in the new house.
8. A break from work (5 weeks of pure baby time!!)
9. Seeing G hold Henry and be a dad.
10. Hearing baby cry for the first time and then holding him right after delivery.
11. Dressing him in all of the cute clothes we've gotten :-)
12. Seeing my mom, sister, and mother-in-law in just two weeks.
13. Breastfeeding.
14. Going on walks with him in our sling.
15. Not having to worry about labor and delivery anymore.
16. Baby smells (not the poop/puke kind, the sweet babybath-soapy kind).
17. Hearing baby noises around the house.
18. Feeling his soft and warm baby skin on mine.