Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Happy Birthday Henry!

Henry is already one week old today and I can't believe how fast time is going by. I knew once we got home from the hospital everything would begin to happen at a much faster pace...but I really had no idea just how fast that pace would be. G and I are totally in love, we can't stop staring at the tiny little person we have created together.

The hardest part about being a new mom has been figuring out how to breast feed our little bear. He was quickly losing weight the first few days after he was born, dropping from eight pounds even to six pounds, thirteen ounces. I felt completely responsible for his weight loss and was quickly overwhelmed with thoughts like, "I'm not feeding him correctly" and "breast feeding isn't working, we're going to have to give him formula" and "I just can't do this anymore". About three days after delivery, my milk finally decided to come in and since things have been so much easier. Baby H eats like a champ now, quite frequently and for large amounts of time. He had a weight check appointment yesterday and he now weighs seven pounds, four ounces! Since his weight gain I have been much more at ease with everything and actually look forward to feeding him every time.

G is such an amazing daddy and loves just cuddling and singing with H. One of my most favorite things lately is watching the two of them just stare at each other, G looking down and H looking up with his big blue eyes. He recognizes G's voice and finds comfort in sucking on his finger. G has been playing, "Henry the VIII" by Herman's Hermits on guitar for Henry and while he's singing baby just stares and listens.

My mom and sister Karli have been staying with us since Saturday, which has been a real treat. I can't even imagine trying to figure out this new baby thing all by myself during these first few weeks. My mom has been cooking us wonderful meals and watching the baby in between feedings so that I can get some rest. Yesterday we went to Target for comfortable clothes and groceries and okay, maybe a little bit to show off the baby too. It was the first time I have been able to leave the house for something other than doctor appointments and it felt so good (and a bit strange) to be out amongst people and sunlight.

I should be able to start writing again, I'm getting pretty good at cuddling baby and typing at the same time. It's the lack of sleep that mostly keeps me from posting lately though. My schedule is now totally determined by baby H's nap/feeding schedule and when he's sleeping I have to decide whether I want to use my free time to (a) take a shower (b) take a nap or (c) eat something. It has only been recently (like, today) that I've felt like I can afford to add a " (d) activity other than the boring ones listed above" option.

Bunz the cat has got to be relieved that she is no longer the only victim of my picture taking obsession. Here are some photos of little bear, all from his very busy first week of life.

Snoozing with Auntie Karli

Getting ready for his doctor's appointment.

Getting naked at the doctors.

SEVEN pounds, FOUR ounces. YAY!

So glad I stuck with nursing...I'm in love with this little face staring up at me.

My new little family.
Sucking dad's finger.

We nap when ever we can now.

He just naps all the time.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Three Is a Magic Number.

I hope you will all forgive me for not posting as of late. It's just you see, this amazing miracle sort of came into our lives Tuesday morning and my hands are unable to put him down, my mind can't focus on anything but him, and my heart has never felt so in love...

Henry Wilder Marr
January 19th, 2010. 9:24 am
8 Lbs 21 In.

Sunday, January 17, 2010

You Are My Sunshine.

When I was little, my mom and I used to sit down at the piano and she would teach me to play, "You Are My Sunshine". I remember sitting still, listening closely to her voice and to the words of the song. Every time it was as if she had written the song just for me....

"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy, when skies are gray. You'll never know dear, how much I love you, please don't take my sunshine away."

I was her sunshine, her love. No one could take what we shared away from us.

It's still amazing to me to think that even a four year old knows just how special that is.

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Nerding It Up.

"I'm a week overdue. It is possible that I might never go into labor on my own?"

The magic date is circled in red on the calendar; every day of the 40 weeks that precede it is crossed off with great anticipation. Then, at long last, the big day arrives- and, as in about half of all pregnancies, the baby doesn't. Anticipation dissolves into discouragement The stroller and crib sit empty for yet another day. And then a week. And then, in about 10 percent of all pregnancies, most often those of first-time mothers, two weeks. Will this pregnancy ever end?

Though women who have reached the 42nd week might find it hard to believe, no pregnancy on record went on forever, even before the advent of labor induction. Studies show that about 70 percent of apparent post-term pregnancies aren't post-term at all. They are only believed to be late because of a miscalculation of the time of conception, usually thanks to irregular ovulation or a woman's uncertainty about the exact date of her last period. And in fact, when early ultrasound examination is used to confirm the due date, diagnoses of post-term pregnancy drop dramatically from the long-held estimate of 10 percent to about 2 percent.

Even if you do end up among those 2 percent of women who are truly overdue, your practitioner won't let your pregnancy pass the 42-week mark. In fact, most practitioners won't even let a pregnancy continue that long, choosing instead to induce by the time your baby has clocked in 41 uterine weeks. And, of course, if at any point test results show that the placenta is no longer doing its job well or that the amniotic fluid levels have dipped too low- or if there are any other signs that baby might not be thriving- your practitioner will take action, and depending on the situation, either induce labor or perform a cesarean delivery. Which means that even if you don't end up going into labor on your own, you won't be pregnant forever.

- From, "What to Expect When You're Expecting".

Friday, January 15, 2010

Four Things I Miss.

# 1: Slim Dixon Band Practices.

# 2: Washington Rain.

# 3 Chicago Friends.

# 4: Playing Gold Orca Songs With G:

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Kitchen Nightmares.

So I thought I would be a sweetheart tonight and make baked macaroni and cheese with bread crumbs for G. What started off as an awesome idea quickly turned into a disaster and a huge, frustrating production. It should not take even the worst cook this many dishes to make such a small meal. I must have used every freakin dish in the kitchen (no, seriously).

Dishes Used: Finished Product:Yesterday I reached the 40 WEEK!!! mark in this pregnancy.

Any day now little H, ooookay? We're ready for you (and I promise I won't bake anything!!)

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Nesting, Hardcore.

I've been busy, busy, busy for the last few days. And not busy with the productive, "I've been meaning to get this done for months now!" kind of stuff. I told G that the sudden explosion of crafting is not because of "nesting".

"I just really like making things, like really like making things. That's all." He shot me a, "Oh really??" look and did that wise husband of a crazy pregnant lady thing and just said nothing.

I really wish I had a better camera for taking pictures of things such as these.... Someday! The girlie shirts are for this lovely couple we met through leasing this house. They have a beautiful 8 week old baby named Lilly.

G calls these his "butt pants":

Monday, January 11, 2010

Growing Up.

Remember this video? Little baby was only twelve weeks old. TWELVE WEEKS! At the moment that seemed so old to me. Seeing him here for the first time ever I remember thinking to myself, "Wow. I'm already twelve weeks along?" Now looking back, twelve weeks seems like such a dinky little number.

I had my 40 weeks appointment today. Now when I walk across the parking lot and take the elevator up to room 202 I rub my belly and say, "Well, Henry this could be it. This could be your last appointment here in my belly." It makes me both sad and anxious at the same time.

A cervix check today (hooray for getting over your worst fears!!) showed that I am not dilated or effaced at all. Nothing. But what about all of those stomach aches that wake me up at four in the morning? What about the lower abdomen pressure? The twinges of pain running down my back? What about the upset stomach? I guess it's time to break out the raspberry tea, hot sauce, and pineapple.

I stopped by Subway after my appointment because I promised myself I could have a sub with chips AND a soda if I allowed my doctor to check for dilation. Apparently bribing myself with food is an A+ plan. While I was ordering my much deserved lunch, a group of people came in surrounding a moaning and very uncomfortable woman. She was having pretty serious contractions and they all wanted to get some food before she checked into the hospital. I felt so bad for her, she ordered two cookies (that I seriously doubt she will feel like eating) while the woman with her ordered a pizza and two subs. The friend kept talking about how it was really her who needed the food, because she knew that her friend's labor was going to be a long one. The pregnant girl's older brother danced around her, saying, "Get up and walk! Don't sit down, keep walking. Stand! Stand! Oooooh, you're gonna make me an Uncle! Oooooh!" and then he would hold up his camera phone and say, "Smile! Come on! Smile!" It was cute how squirrely and excited he was about the whole situation. Between deep breaths, "Oh gaaaah this huuurrrts", and white knuckled table grabbing she'd yell, "Shuuuut up! Stoppppp, plllleeease!" She was not finding it so cute.

I started wondering how I'll act during labor. I hope I don't turn into one of those witchy monster women you always hear about. It reminded me of a conversation G and I had the other night:

G: (Dancing around the room and karate kicking books across the living room while singing songs about speed skating)
Me: Do you think I'll find these jokes as funny when I'm in labor? Or do you think they will upset me?
G: (Rapping about himself. Still dancing.)
Me: What do you think? I hear people get aggravated pretty easily during the last stages...
G: (Stops rapping. Still dancing) What did you ask me?

Oh boy. :-D

I wished the lady lots of luck and told her she's going to do so great and then left Subway secretly hoping that her situation was contagious. Hoping that maybe I'll be one of those women who dialates over night and then begins labor the next day.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Can't Decide...

Now that this pregnancy is just about over, I'm torn between both wanting baby H to be here already and wanting him to stay right where he is for just a while longer. I'm so anxious to meet him for the first time, to hold him and kiss his little nose but I also know how much I am going to miss having him squirming around inside my belly. It is already hard for me, realizing that this time in our lives will never happen again. Henry will be out in this world of ours so soon and I will never be able to feel him safe inside my stomach again. I know some people have hated being pregnant but I have actually really, really enjoyed it. There is just something so special about having him so close and I don't know if I'm quite ready to give that up just yet.

When I first found out we were having a baby, the end (this week) seemed so far away. I thought this day would take forever to get here and that the journey here would be hard, scary, and challenging. However, these past nine months have flown by faster than any time in my entire life, which makes me wonder why an experience so special and unique has to last such a short amount of time.

Things I am going to miss:

1. Baby kicks inside my belly.
2. The peace of mind knowing that labor is far away.
3. Hearing Henry's heartbeat at my doctor appointments.
4. The excuse to eat anything I want.
5. People staring and smiling at my belly.
6. Looking at baby clothes, size newborn.
7. Thinking about Henry 24/7.
8. Wondering what he looks like.
9. Singing and talking to myself and knowing that he can hear everything.
10. B the cat sleeping next to my belly all night.
11. Braxton Hicks contractions.
12. Ultrasound pictures.
13. Picturing what our new, little family is going to be like.
14. Showing off my preggo stomach.
15. Knowing he is safe and comfortable inside my belly.
16. Baby hiccups.
17. Sleeping so well.
18. Spooning G at night with baby H between us.

Things I am not going to miss:

1. Worrying over kick counts.
2. Leg cramps at night.
3. Always needing to drink ridiculous amounts of water
4. Going into a clothing store and not being able to buy anything new because my stomach is too big.
5. Worrying about labor and delivery.
6. Cervix checks and finger pricks.
7. Heartburn.
8. Hearing horror stories about labor all. the. time.

Things I am looking forward to:

1. Looking Henry in the eyes for the first time ever.
2. Baby snuggling.
3. Showing Henry off to friends and family.
4. A glass of wine and a good whiskey sour.
5. Being able to run.
6. Singing "You Are My Sunshine" to Henry.
7. Having him here, safe with us in the new house.
8. A break from work (5 weeks of pure baby time!!)
9. Seeing G hold Henry and be a dad.
10. Hearing baby cry for the first time and then holding him right after delivery.
11. Dressing him in all of the cute clothes we've gotten :-)
12. Seeing my mom, sister, and mother-in-law in just two weeks.
13. Breastfeeding.
14. Going on walks with him in our sling.
15. Not having to worry about labor and delivery anymore.
16. Baby smells (not the poop/puke kind, the sweet babybath-soapy kind).
17. Hearing baby noises around the house.
18. Feeling his soft and warm baby skin on mine.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Another Picture Update.

G fixing his guitar.

** Bunz update: B the cat is doing so much better after her surgery! There was a point where I thought she'd never heal and I was kicking myself for having to take her in to the vet soooo many times. She's still just as awful and moody towards everyone, just without claws to back up the attitude now. I think she can sense that the baby is coming so soon because she has been very affectionate towards us and will not leave my legs and stomach at night when we sleep. Also, she's into and on top of everything we are doing:

B wants to go to the hospital in our bag!

Trying out the new carseat.

Craft box cat.

Here is (sadly) one of the last preggo pictures of me. I'm going to miss having this little guy inside my belly, I already wish it all wasn't ending so soon.

39 Weeks!!

Getting Closer???

My stomach has been sore all morning. It's like an upset stomach but a little more intense. My mind has allowed me to become a little more at ease with the idea of labor and having this baby so maybe it's time my body follows its lead. I had my 39 weeks appointment yesterday and the news is still the same, although I won't let them check my cervix because I was a big boo-hoo baby again. Because I freaked out, we really have no idea of telling whether I'm even dilated or not. Apparently though you could be dilated at small centimeters weeks before your delivery and even still go past your due date, so it's really not all that necessary that they determine where I'm at anyway. The doctors probably should not have told me that this nasty procedure is uneccessary (combined with telling me that it will hurt too). I think if they had been like, "Look lady. We HAVE to do this. It might hurt, it might not. But we HAVE to do it" and then slapped me in the face or something, then maybe I would have been able to suck it up and quit being such a wuss. Instead yesterday I was more of a pain then a three year old receiving vaccinations. My doctor is probably questioning her career choice.

I at least am beginning to feel like the end is getting near today for the first time ever. I have never appreciated such stomach pain before and am getting pretty anxious and excited. Go baby, go!

Monday, January 4, 2010

Concerning Your Latest Crush....

Dear Baby,

Just wanted to let you know that I do feel you kick and roll every time a Taylor Swift song plays on the radio. I've read that babies begin hearing things as early as 16 weeks and that they kick and move to sounds they find comforting and familiar. I have somehow managed to expose you to enough Taylor Swift that you now find her songs comforting and familiar and for this I am so, so sorry.

Since you can't see right now, I will tell you that she is really pretty and young (bonus for you!!). But there is better music out there!! I've tried playing other bands and keeping your baby ears away from the radio on drives home from work but she is the only thing that really gets you moving.

If you could maybe give a little kick next time I play Band of Horses or Bob Dylan or Rogue Wave I'd be a real happy momma. Thanks baby H.


Sunday, January 3, 2010

< LOVE >

I must have the most wonderful and talented sisters in the whole entire world. Just received this video via Facebook...they made it for me and baby H as a Christmas present. Lindsey is singing and playing guitar and little Karli is playing piano and singing as well. I'm not blaming hormones this time on the fact that I teared up quite a bit over this one...

I just love my sisters.

Saturday, January 2, 2010

Baby Thoughts and Birthday Blogs.

Can't get this whole baby thing off of my mind lately. Not that my thoughts for the past nine months haven't already been, "Henry, Henry, Henry, Henry, HENRY." Just when I thought it was absolutely impossible to think about him even more, I reached the last two weeks of my pregnancy. The final countdown. I think about him when I'm showering in the morning, I think about him when I'm cooking dinner, I think about him when I'm watching tv on dvd with the G. Shoot, I even think about him when I'm sleeping. I keep telling myself that thinking about him too much will take away from the excitement of his arrival. By the time he gets here, I will be so used to the thought of him being around that it won't be as mind-blowing as it could be. Oh and how I want it to be mind-blowing.

Maybe this is my body's way of getting ready to just have him. To be done with the labor and free of the stress and worry that the thoughts of two days of hospital and absolute pain gives me. I always hear about women becoming so physically uncomfortable with their pregnancy that they get to a point where they want the baby out. Since this pregnancy has been extremely easy on me and my body and I have yet to get a humongo baby belly [ :-( ] perhaps it's my mind that has to do all of the work. Think about the baby (babyhenrybabyhenrybabyhenrybabyhenrybabyhenrybabyhenry) until I'm so bored with thinking about the baby that I'll want him to be here, just to quiet my mind.

Every twitch and gurgle my stomach makes, every pain I feel when I roll over at night, every pinch of back pain I hold my breath thinking, "Is this it?" Who knew it was even possible to focus on every little thing your body does ALL THE TIME.

In other news, Happy Birthday to my dear little blog. I realized today in the shower (my thoughts were something like this: babyhenry/turnwaterhotter/babyhenry/babyhenry/imcold/chicagowascold/babyhenry/createdbloglastyear/babyhenry/blog...) that it was exactly one year ago that I first started writing this blog. One whole year. Wow!

It's amazing how much changes in just a year. Last year I was sitting inside our tiny Chicago apartment, drinking cheap wine, and watching the snow fall outside as I sat down to begin typing the story of our lives. Last year when it was just me, G, and cat. Last year when there were no thoughts of babies or small southern cities where the weather stays warm throughout the entire year.

I love where this year has taken us and can't wait to see what comes next.

But first things first, birthing this baby.

See. There I go again.

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