Can't get this whole baby thing off of my mind lately. Not that my thoughts for the past nine months haven't already been, "Henry, Henry, Henry, Henry, HENRY." Just when I thought it was absolutely impossible to think about him even more, I reached the last two weeks of my pregnancy. The final countdown. I think about him when I'm showering in the morning, I think about him when I'm cooking dinner, I think about him when I'm watching tv on dvd with the G. Shoot, I even think about him when I'm sleeping. I keep telling myself that thinking about him too much will take away from the excitement of his arrival. By the time he gets here, I will be so used to the thought of him being around that it won't be as mind-blowing as it could be. Oh and how I want it to be mind-blowing.
Maybe this is my body's way of getting ready to just have him. To be done with the labor and free of the stress and worry that the thoughts of two days of hospital and absolute pain gives me. I always hear about women becoming so physically uncomfortable with their pregnancy that they get to a point where they want the baby out. Since this pregnancy has been extremely easy on me and my body and I have yet to get a humongo baby belly [ :-( ] perhaps it's my mind that has to do all of the work. Think about the baby (babyhenrybabyhenrybabyhenrybabyhenrybabyhenrybabyhenry) until I'm so bored with thinking about the baby that I'll want him to be here, just to quiet my mind.
Every twitch and gurgle my stomach makes, every pain I feel when I roll over at night, every pinch of back pain I hold my breath thinking, "Is this it?" Who knew it was even possible to focus on every little thing your body does ALL THE TIME.
In other news, Happy Birthday to my dear little blog. I realized today in the shower (my thoughts were something like this: babyhenry/turnwaterhotter/babyhenry/babyhenry/imcold/chicagowascold/babyhenry/createdbloglastyear/babyhenry/blog...) that it was exactly one year ago that I first started writing this blog. One whole year. Wow!
It's amazing how much changes in just a year. Last year I was sitting inside our tiny Chicago apartment, drinking cheap wine, and watching the snow fall outside as I sat down to begin typing the story of our lives. Last year when it was just me, G, and cat. Last year when there were no thoughts of babies or small southern cities where the weather stays warm throughout the entire year.
I love where this year has taken us and can't wait to see what comes next.
But first things first, birthing this baby.
See. There I go again.
Babybabybabybabybabybabybabybabybabybabybabybabybabybabybabybabybabybaby.
1 comment:
I always did the same thing with all of you guys...remember the dream I had of birthing Stevie? Crazy. And don't worry, thinking about Henry 24/7 will NOT diminish the wonder of his birth. There is absolutely no greater high and no way to describe that feeling until you just experience it.
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