Through the Looking Glass.

Last night I had the strangest dream I have had in a very long time.....

I was a contestant on a game show that was a lot like Hollywood Squares and Jeopardy combined. The object of the game was to pick a certain amount of squares that were somehow connected to each other. If you guessed three in a row then you won a date with someone that you wouldn't like. For some reason, I was really excited about the thought of this and so I was trying with all of my tic-tac-toe might to guess the right boxes. I ended up not winning the awful date but instead received a runner-up ticket to a theme park for kids. The game show host kept telling me that it was a new kind of place and that nobody in the audience had ever been there before. He promised me that I would absolutely love it.

When I first arrived at the address he had given me I was surprised to see an old house with tons of awkwardly built buildings attached to it. The inside was old and musty, kind of like an old movie theater or a crappy bowling alley. It was really dark and there were cats and kids everywhere (surprised that my dream had cats in it?!) I couldn't figure out the purpose of the place, there were a bunch of kids running around screaming and crying. I checked a couple closets for some rides or carnival games and found nothing.

I ended up running into someone I knew and it was really awkward so I lied and told him that I had to go to the bathroom. The restrooms were even more crowded than the rest of the house and people kept cutting me in line. At this point I really did have to go to the bathroom and I was getting really mad that people were pushing me around taking the available bathrooms. Just as I thought I was going to punch someone, an old man came out of the wall and said, "Come with me...there is a bathroom that no one knows about..."

He led me into a room that was full of sleeping babies and beds from wall to wall. Each baby had a mother singing lullabies and there were cats with huge eyes starring at me from every direction. The old man was gone and the lights were getting darker. One of the mothers told me that it was the center's designated quiet time. The owner of the park had created this quiet time so that mothers with newborns could come to the theme park to hang out as well. I guess they were feeling a little left out. I climbed over 20 or so beds filled with babies and singing moms and made my way back out into the rest of the house. Since I had left, the main area had been filled with people dressed up as different kid's characters and they all yelled, "SHUT THE DOOR!! IT'S QUIET TIME!!" and as soon as I shut the door they continued to be loud and play music and pick kids up and dance with them. There was a man dressed up as Jack Sparrow from Pirates of the Caribbean, someone dressed like the Statue of Liberty, and a women dressed up as a giant Dora the Explorer. I wasn't really weirded out by it at all until my friend Huck came over to me dressed up as Harry Potter. He told me that because of the way the economy has been lately, it was the only job he could find but ensured me that he was quite happy because they had been teaching him actual magic tricks and he could have all of the popcorn he wanted.

I ran into a kid I knew, who turned into a cat wearing a dress the minute I said her name. I asked her where her little sister was and she just meowed and then jumped into the arms of this nerdy looking kid who just stared at me until I turned away. I realized that I had lost my "friend" after the whole trip to the bathroom experience and figured that it was probably for the best anyway and that maybe he was having fun in one of the connected buildings that I had seen from the outside.

I finally woke up after I had been searching for the door to leave the theme park and was unable to find it. As strange as this dream sounds, it was actually kind of creepy. I felt claustrophopic, lost and confused the entire time. Kind of Alice in Wonderland meets Requiem for a Dream.

Anyone want to interpret this dream for me? I'm too afraid.