There's a whole lot of new happening around here and it's all happening so fast, I'm not sure I'll be ready! Change #1: We signed the lease on a new place (four blocks away) and we start moving in June 1st.
The realization that we're leaving so soon has had me in a funk for days. I don't want to say goodbye to this little house that we've spent the first year of Henry's life in. I'm not ready to leave behind the sink he took his first bath in or the chipped window paint I spent hours memorizing as I snuggled him into my breasts at three in the morning.
Leaving this house is forcing me to realize that he's growing up so fast and for the first time ever I'm noticing that my little baby isn't so much a little baby anymore. It's breaking my heart that so many days slipped right between my fingers and there is nothing I can do to ever get them back. How did that happen?
I've never been good with change. I constantly crave it but when it finally happens I have the hardest time saying goodbye. Becoming a mom makes this ten times worse because practically everything you touch becomes a cherished memory. I wish I could be more like Garrison who fully realizes that memories aren't made of painted walls, hard wood floors, and tiny sinks. Then maybe I wouldn't be such a sad, sappy mess right now?
(and then my little sisters make me something like this and all hope of me ever being emotionally cool goes out the window...)
