Thursday, January 1, 2009

Getting it Together.

I realize that I'm probably the worst at communicating with family and friends consistently so I am hoping that by setting up this blog, I might actually sit down and write about everything before it escapes my mind and is lost forever.

Traveling back to Washington recently has especially made me realize how easily I forget memories, which is strange to me because in the past I have been the type of person who holds on to memories more than (in most cases) is probably healthy. I could feel my head full of thoughts I needed to share with family, but when I tried to communicate them the words and full pictures just weren't there. Life seems to just get more complicated and busy the older I get and I find myself having less and less time to sit and focus on things of the past. I wish everything would just slow down so that I could savor every moment of my life, both the good and the bad.

Which reminds me...This holiday season whooshed by and really left me wondering what happened to my pure love and fascination for Christmas and everything related. In the past I've been cheese-ily into the whole Christmas hype. I'm talking, Christmas music loving, gingerbread house building, tree buying/over decorating, Christmas-shoppers-don't-even-bother-me, kind of love. But this year was the first it has all ever been different for me. It's like I was trying so hard to get the same feeling every past Christmas has given me, but it just wasn't coming naturally. I had to force every second of it. Even the gingerbread house was more of a pain to construct than it was fun. (CARLY: Chicago gingerbread house...NOT Oak Harbor gingerbread house).

Maybe it's because I started listening to Christmas music waaaay before Thanksgiving when usually I tell myself to not give in to my totally corny obsession until at least the day after. Maybe it's that I was forcing something that wasn't meant to be. Maybe it's that I miss family way too much.

Maybe it's that I'm just getting older.

Is this what kids feel like when they really want to believe in Santa but in their hearts they know that the stories just don't all add up??

Speaking of wishing that everything would slow down just enough for me to place the memories in my heart and in my head, the welcoming of 2009 was perfect. When I was thinking ahead, trying to plan what we would do and who we would be spending December 31st with I pictured us surrounded by our newly made friends and friends we've been fortunate to know for the past year and a half. But sometimes you can create the most perfect scenarios in your head and it ends up being the things you were the least prepared for that end up meaning the most. 2009 found us snuggled warmly in our apartment. Just G, Allie, and Cat. Strangely enough, I couldn't ask for any more than this. These are the type of rare moments I constantly crave.

Happy 2009 friends,

ALLIE and her lovely, tiny family.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hey ALLIE!!!!! WOw!!! Sweet stuff!!! Karil just showed me how to do a comment!!!! Ant that sweet!!! Love ya

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