Sunday, January 30, 2011

The 40 Year Old Bully

It's been over five hours since the incident at the park and I'm still upset.

We rode bikes to the park today so that Henry could get some fresh air and eat some dirt. Of course all of the baby swings were taken so we waited our turn on a metal bench nearby. We grabbed the next free swing and we were having an awesome time pushing him back and forth, pretending like we're going to eat his feet every time he'd swing to our face, and eating up his giggles and two toothed baby grins.

The lady next to us was pushing a three year old girl and we were making small talk and laughing at our babies in the swings. After a few minutes, the little girl decided that she was done swinging but when her mom went to lift her out she changed her mind and refused to be picked up. Typical three year old, right? So the mom says, "OK. So you don't want to get out? Then SWING SOME MORE!" and started pushing the little girl with serious force. The girl kept swinging higher and higher, until she was crying and shaking with fear yelling, "Sttttopppp! Stttopppp!".

And the lady kept. pushing.

I was thinking to myself, "Omg, is this really happening right now?" And I kept looking at Garrison like, "Is this really horrible or am I getting worked up over nothing?" And then I'd look at the little girl's face and think, "This isn't right. This isn't fair! She wantttts to stop, doesn't the mom see that?"

I'm not a very outspoken person. There have been many times I've seen something horrible happening and not said anything because, hey. It's their life, right? But when it comes to kids in a bad situation? It's hard for me to bite my tongue. I was almost in tears and super shaky and I looked at the lady and said, "Stop! She's terrified! Look at her! Stop, please!" And she said, "But she didn't want to get out, so now she can swing". Was she really justifying her actions? And I asked her to stop again, this time so close to bawling and I think she got a little embarrassed and yanked the swing to a sudden stop.

Garrison sugar coated the suddenly awkward situation with more small talk and helped her get the toddler out of the swing and I just sat there, mad. I hated her. I hated that a forty year old could bully a baby. I hated the fact that anyone can become a parent. I hated that that girl had to go home with her.

31 comments:

momma-zen said...

That is so utterly horrifying. I do not know how I'd have reacted but I am pretty sure knowing how emotional I get - it would have been very much like yours but probably even more hysterical.

Now all I can do is think about that little girl. All the little children that have horrific parents. It makes me so sick to my stomach and I hold Elijah closer. I wish I could save them all.

lydia. said...

Allie, I am seriously so proud of you. Speaking up in a situation like that takes SO much courage. A lot of times people want to just sit back and try to convince themselves that what is going isn't a big deal and that it's none of their business. But how is it not? It is wrong to not protect other people, especially defenseless little children.
In my opinion, the people who don't speak up and come to their aid are just as wrong and totally weak.
I am so proud of you for actually doing something about it! Even though you won't forever be able to protect that child from that monster, you saved her in that moment. And hey, maybe you even made that woman stop and think about the way she treats her child. Maybe she will get help.
You did an amazing thing today, Allie!
So much love for you. :)

Victoria said...

Good job standing up for what you think is right! Seriously! I understand why it was hard, it's really difficult to call someone's actions into question especially when it comes to their kids. Parents get easily defensive about the way they raise their kids. That was seriously wrong of her, though, and you did the right thing.
At least you know that Henry won't be treated like that.

Dena said...

kudos for speaking up!!! henry has such an AWEsome mommy!

Lauren said...

I am so glad you stood up for that little girl, as parents we are our child's best defense against the world its so sad that the mom acted that way! It makes so so furious when I see parents treating their children poorly. Its like they never left high school AT high school and expect their kids to act the same way. Its so so sad. I agree on not everyone should be allowed to have babies.

You are awesome thank you for being her VOICE!

kriznizzel said...

Horrible.... Glad you said something.

Kat said...

Good on you for speaking up! That is just horrible. That someone could not see that their own child was petrified and didn't think to stop the action they were taken by themselves is just ridiculous. Some people should not be allowed to be parents.

erinlucyloves said...

god on you for standing up to her! i honestly don't know that i would have had the guts to say anything.
what a crazy lady. that's like those parents who suggest biting your children if they bite someone else. Wha???

Paige Baker said...

I am bawling right now. I don't even have words, I can't imagine having been right there, seeing this. I am so upset by that. I mean...I really do have no words.
I feel so sick.

Bri said...

what a horrible story. i seriously don't blame you for getting all worked up, i would too (and am now). glad you spoke up though. we need more mommies in this world like you :)

Sarah said...

Wow that is so horrible. Where do these parents get off thinking just because they are bigger than their children they can (in this case literally) push them around? Good for you speaking up! Maybe that woman will think twice in the future.

Kerry McCullough said...

God, that is terrible. It's scary that you can find parents doing these things in public places, like parks and grocery stores- IMAGINE what happens behind closed doors. I understand that there is a certain amount of discipline that needs to happen, but acts of aggression like that are just taking it way too far. That's so upsetting.

Helen said...

You did the right thing. Its unfortunate that it spoiled your day.

Jess Craig said...

oh man, be proud of yourself allie. i would hope that i had the balls in that situation. it's hard though. what do you do? because inevitably, that little girl has to BE with that woman on a daily basis.

Emily @ TheLastWord said...

I actually have a very clear distinct memory from preschool, of that exact thing happening to me. I couldn't have been more than 3 or 4. One of the aides at the preschool was pushing me on the swing and I was scared because she was pushing me too high, and I was begging her to stop. I remember the feeling of complete terror and being helpless.

I have a terrible memory, so if I remember this, it must have had a pretty traumatic effect on me. You did the right thing!

Biscuit said...

GOOD FOR YOU!

OMG that made me tear up just thinking about it. What an asshat. Some people should be sterilized.

Katrina Gelino said...

That is so disturbing. I often think that like 16 year olds that have to take a test for driving, women should have to take a psychological test before bearing children.

http://katrinagelino.blogspot.com/

Summer said...

wow...I would have been in shock. THANK YOU FOR SPEAKING UP. What a crazy mean mama. I am sorry you had to see that, but I think you were there for a reason. Maybe she knows now that she was very wrong for what she has done.

mommatojoa said...

That is ridiculous! How can someone do that to their child!? I would NEVER do that and I know most parents wouldn't. What a horrible woman!

Thank you for speaking up for that child. She's completely defenseless and needed someone to say something!

Mama Mandolin said...

Holy crap. What a beotch. Good job at saying something. You never know how you'll react in a situation like that-you should be proud of yourself for standing up for that little girl when she needed it.

Anonymous said...

You did good Allie. I wish every child had loving, mature parents but it is not so. As the other posters wrote, hopefully she will think about it lataer and change the way she interacts with her child. Love, z

Nessa said...

wow - Henry has one hell of a momma. I would have wanted to steal her and take her home too.

Iris Flavia said...

Good thing you took the courage, I can imagine it was hard.

I often wonder why anyone may have a kid who can give birth?
And those who so desperatly long for a kid and can not have such a hard time and often don´t meet regulations, with the regulations being really dumb (over here).
It´s not fair, neither to the kids nor to those parents who will never be...

Yikes. I have no kids. But how can a Mother fail to see her own child is in fear???
Was she really trying to punish such a little one THAT way?!

Brittany said...

Wow. I have no words other than wow. What an awful story. :(

Anonymous said...

Im at work and have allready had two of my parent/coworkers read this awful story. First, and we all agree, you handeled it the right way. Second, if you have any access to you could also contact cps if you fear that this is not only a one time thing. But we all hope and prey that the mother had a lapse in judgment; and when she was called out by you hopefully she will now realize how she handled herself with her innocent little girl was wrong. Kuddos to you for standing up to her.

Her Momma said...

my god i have tears in my eyes and an awful feeling in my stomach. i can only imagine how you felt having to witness such disgust.

Rj and Jessie said...

Wow. I am proud of you. That is horrible! :/

Taffy said...

Oh gosh, that's terrible. I'm glad you said something - few of us would ever have the courage.

I have friends with parents like that and they grow up to not just resent, but truly hate their parents. Its sad on all sides.

Taffy said...

Oh gosh, that's terrible. I'm glad you said something - few of us would ever have the courage.

I have friends with parents like that and they grow up to not just resent, but truly hate their parents. Its sad on all sides.

emily bilbrey said...

that. is. horrifying.

it makes me choke up thinking about what that child goes through when her mom ISN'T being watched by the public eye.

you should be really proud for speaking up. hold henry extra tight today, and give him lots of kisses. i will do the same with poppy.


{{hugs}}

amelie522 said...

Good for you, Allie! I hate to say this, but I think it's crazy that you have to have a license to drive a car, but anyone can bring an innocent babe into the world. That sounds awful, but unfortunately, it's true! You're such a good person, a kind soul. That little girl is never going to forget you, sticking up for her when her own mother wouldn't. You're her hero today..

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