Thursday, September 16, 2010

RIP Stacie

9/15/1986 - 9/15/2010

My dear friend Stacie passed away yesterday. I thought for sure she would pull through her serious accident, she's always been one of the strongest people I have ever known. I still can't accept that she is gone. I can only process a small fraction of this tragedy at a time, which is probably for the best because everytime I do my heart literally hurts.

I hate that I still feel like I could call her and catch up on lost time. I hate that such a precious life could be taken away in just a matter of seconds. I hate that she never got to meet Henry. It's all so unfair.

Stacie and I have been friends since we were little kids. I used to go over to her house and play army soldiers, drink chocolate milk, and try to annoy her older sister Lisa. Our summers together were packed with camping trips, water balloon fights, and sleepovers. In college we found ourselves meeting up on break to hang out with our friends until early morning.

When we were six or so, Stacie would say, "Hey Allie, say 'Sleeping Beauty' again", to which I would reply, "Sleeping Booty" because apparently I had an awful hard time with the "eau" sound. She would start laughing so hard her eyes would fill up with tears.

One time Stacie's sister Lisa was babysitting us and she was listening to Alanis Morrisettee. We told her that she shouldn't be listening to it because she said the word "maggot" and Lisa laughed and asked us if we even knew what that word meant. Of course we didn't and that made us feel like idiots for calling her out on something so stupid. We got back at her real good though by hiding in her closet, quietly giggling while she called a boy that she had a huge crush on. And then we told her mom about it.

As we grew up together, I learned so much from Stacie. She taught me how to love unconditionally. Even when she was dealing with the crappy parts of life (we all have them) her eyes would smile as she talked about the good she did know. Stacie was my silly friend. We were always laughing about the dumbest things together, it was nice knowing that someone else shared my weird sense of humor.

Stacie is one of the lucky few who has really experienced life. Her spontaneity has taken her to Colorado, Nepal, and India and the last time I talked to her she was living in a VW van, obviously enjoying life as it was meant to be experienced. Simple and free, surrounded by friends and life experiences rather than stupid material crap like tvs or new clothes. Stacie's passion and love for life was contagious and I know I'm not the only one who was greatly affected by this.

Stacie, you were taken much too soon and it's really hard to deal with your sudden absence from my life. I miss you so much my love.


38 comments:

Ailen said...

Allie,

I am so sorry about your loss. I know how much it sucks to lose someone so suddenly and unexpectedly. I wish there was something I could say to make it better, but there isn't. Except that, from how you described her, your friend sounded lovely, it sounds like she had a profound impact on your life and, hopefully, that same impact will help you overcome this terrible tragedy.

Thinking about you,

Ailen

Jessica said...

i'm so sorry for your loss. it sounds like she was an amazing person and I'm glad you will still always have all of the great memories with her. XOXO

the grumbles said...

oh allie, i'm so so so sorry to hear this. my heart goes out to you. i wish i could give you a million hugs right now.

lydia. said...

i am so sorry and sad for your great loss. :(
it breaks my heart for you.

xo, girl.

The Adventures of a Blondie Mommie said...

I am so sorry for your loss Allie. Your post is incredibly moving and I know Stacie will be missed by many. Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.

Rachel said...

so sorry allie. xxoo

Chelsey - The Paper Mama said...

oh no. I'm so sorry. I keep saying sorry. But, I am. The hardest thing is losing a friend too early. I'm crying now thinking of the friends I've lost already... and that you have to feel that way too.

Mandy said...

Allie-

This breaks my heart... I am so, so very sorry to hear about this. It doesn't seem to make sense when such a wonderful young girl passes away.

I am praying tons for you and her family.

Please let me know if you need anything.

Love,
Mandy

Lora said...

oh, i'm so so sorry! please know that you, as well as your friend's family, are in my prayers.

Jess Craig said...

this majorly sucks. i'm so sorry.

Gemma said...

So so sorry for your loss Allie. Sending you lots of love. Such a tragedy to lose a life like that.

xxx

lauren ♥ said...

so, so, so sad. i hope things get easier for you soon. what a shame :(

melissa said...

i am so sorry for your loss! it is never easy to loose someone important to you.. i know this first hand. take it day by day... it never gets easier, you just learn to live with it. hope you are ok.

Kat said...

Oh Allie I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I can't even imagine the hurt you are experiencing but I hope that one day it will become a little less painful and you can just remember the good times you had with Stacie.

Erin said...

i'm so sorry for your loss allie! :( thoughts and prayers!

Shawntae said...

I'm soo sorry for your loss. I can't imagine what you are going through. That song was beautiful and this post was touching.

Keep your head up! XoXo

Nicole said...

That is awful! I am very sorry to hear your sad news and my heart goes out to you.

Krystle said...

Allie,

I was friends with Stacie throughout college. I met her in the dorms our freshman year. I have heard many stories of the two of you. She was an amazing person. Thank you for celebrating her life and for remembering her through this beautifully written piece. That's also a great photo of her...embodies the essence that was Stacie. Truly a free spirit then, and now forever.

With Love, Jamie said...

So sorry for your loss...
xo, Jamie

Brittany said...

My heart breaks for you. I cant even begin to imagine.

You will be in my thoughts and prayers!

Sending you big huge virtual hugs and kleenex's!

Wish I could give them in person!

Heidi said...

Allie, thank you for sharing your childhood memories and letting us take a peek at a cherished relationship. Just so sorry for your loss.

jill said...

having never lost anyone close to me, i can not imagine how you must be feeling. i cried and smiled thru this whole post. what great and funny memories you have to look back on! its such a tragedy to have lost such an amazing person so young yet she seems to have lived her life to the absolute fullest! the song is amazing too. i think ive listened to it like five times already! im thinking of you...
lots and lots of love!

Bri said...

i'm so very sorry for your loss but still am amazed at your ability to be able to reflect and share all your special memories with a person who i can tell was a very special lady. just so you know i will be sending loving thoughts & prayers your way.

xo

Amber - Happiness is Eva said...

How awful! I'm so sorry for your loss.

WeeMasonMan's Mom said...

Oh no, I was really rooting for her to pull through :o( I'm so sorry for your loss!!

Claudia Guerreiro said...

Oh Allie, I am so sorry. Only time will heal and you will forever remember and cherish all the times you two spent together.
I'm so sorry.

Mariel Torres said...

i am so sorry darling.

With Love, Jamie said...

I always look forward to all your posts too... :)
I hope that you are doing ok, my thoughts and prayers still go out to you.
xo, Jamie

allie said...

thank you all for showing me such love and support. i am so lucky to know each and every one of you and to be surrounded by people who care so much. i love you all more than words.

i responded to all of you personally on your blogs but a few of you do not have your blogs listed.

Claudia: do you have a blog? you always leave me the sweetest comments and then i try to find your blog and no. luck. please let me know if you do, i really want to get to know you better! your comment is so sweet. you are right, i will always have such wonderful and dear memories of her. death can't take that away!

krystal: it made me cry to read that stacie had mentioned me. thanks for letting me know. i am so happy that you got to love her as well, doesn't your life feel so much more complete?

erinlucyloves said...

oh allie, i'm so sorry to hear about your friend. i'll be thinking of you xo

AmyLee said...

i am so sorry for your loss. words can't make these things any better... just know that you're not alone in your grieving & you'll always have all the wonderful memories that you two had together. you're in my thoughts.

Her Momma said...

Oh Allie, I'm so so incredibly sorry.

Ashley said...

I am so very sorry to hear this news. One verse that helps me time and time again...is Rev.21:4 It's helped me cope with the loss of my sister. You will certainly be in our prayers.

Brittany said...

I'm so sorry to hear this. Loosing loved ones is the worst thing to go through. Thinking about and praying for you and her family.

Sarah said...

I am so sorry to hear that awful news. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and Stacie's family.

Katherine said...

Im so sorry, love. Im thinking about you and her family in this time of loss. how lucky were you to be able to have known her and experienced her love. big hugs.

dontworrybaby said...

Allie,

I am so so sorry for your loss. You are in my thoughts.

xo

silenceandnoise said...

Allie,

I know I am a million years late (I am always late), but I just wanted to tell you that I am deeply sorry for your loss. I am sure your friend, wherever she is now, is remembering all those special times with you and smiling. She was lucky to have a great friend like you. You know where to find me if you feel like talking. I will be thinking about you and your friend's family.

Love you!

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