I know this might come off a little sexist or whatever, but that's totally not me so just bare with me on this one. The other night I was singing Henry his lullabies and I got really bummed. I realized that most likely his own babies will not fall asleep to the special songs Henry and I share at night. His future wife will have lullabies of her own (probably ones that she grew up with) and she'll just sing those.I guess I've always just assumed that if I sing Henry the same three songs before bed, one day he'd sing them to my grandchildren. But honestly? What are the chances he will be the one putting his babies to sleep? In most cases, the mom is the boss of the bedtime routine. I know there are lullabies that G's mom sang to him growing up, but do I sing those to Henry at night? No. I don't even know how they go. And sure G sings them occasionally but definitely not enough for them to "stick".
It's hard when the whole bedtime routine falls so much on the breastfeeding mom and it's unfortunate that because of this, such a special piece of childhood is easily lost.
14 comments:
i think only mother's of son's will understand this. i get you.
yeah, it would be a completely different situation if henry was a girl. this wouldn't even be a thought in my mind.
I think about stuff like this all the time. I often say that I hope M doesn't forget about me, when he is a man on his own. Girls usually still hang out with their moms when older with their own children. I try to include my MIL once a week because of this.
Since I pump, not breastfeed, I tell Mike he needs to help. He does. No singing here. That would hurt everyone. :)
I feel ya on this one. I totally can relate and agree that only mother's with sons can truly understand. It is saddening to think about...=[
My dad always put us to bed... I think because he didn't get much time with us during the day or afternoon. I cherished getting tucked in by daddy. He didn't sing to us but he would tell us stories, and that definitely stayed with me. I'm sure Henry will pass down the tradition in a myriad of ways.
my husband puts milo to bed every single night and has 2 little songs that he sings to him every night. it's very very cute. i hope milo will remember his two special daddy songs as well as all the songs i sing to him
in our house, joe is the one that puts josiah to sleep every night. he's the one that comes up with the made-up lullabies. i just asked him if he felt the same way as you, and now he is really sad. ha ha he said that he hopes josiah will put his baby's to bed like him some day, so he can pass on his messed-up songs.
Oh, Allie. This made me cry a little. But you know what? You may have a daughter someday who -will- be able to pass that on. You have such a sweet heart.
it's not sexist at all because i think that's the case most of the time however, Will puts Lily to bed a lot and he sings to her. I don't sing, I hum while I breast feed.
Anyway, Will sings a lot of the songs his mom sang to him (i know, sweet). His mom and his sister even put together a small book with the songs she and Will's dad used to sing to Will when he was little. maybe you can do the same just in case Henry will end up singing to his babies. :)
Hi Allie, sent you a note at:
alliehallmarr@yahoo.com
Heidi
oh, i had another thought -
wyatt is not allowed to get married or even date.
I used to think about this with my boy. Now he's almost two, and Daddy puts him to bed most nights, because I am breastfeeding our 2 month old. Scott missed out on those nights when our boy was younger, but now he relishes reading books to him every night. It is so sweet.
thank you all for your thoughts on this. sorry it has taken me so long to respond...
sarah: same here! the mother/son relationship is just so different!
chelsey: if we were bottle feeding then, yes. it might be as totally different situation. it's hard when i am henry's main food source and comfort!
mrs. doc handsome: i'd imagine you feel this even more than i do, having your best away for large chunks of time. i have so much respect and admiration for moms like you!
carey: awww, thanks for this! makes me realize that things will change when he is older...garrison can start tucking him in more and those are the times you actually remember anyway! i'd really like to start a tradition like this!
erinlucyloves: me too! that's so sweet that they share a few songs, i love this.
moriah: that's exactly how i feel! tell your hubby to not be bummed about it...he's doing something so awesome, josiah is bound to carry on that tradition!
paige: thank you so. much. we'll have to talk about how g and i feel about the second kid situation soooon. (and no, i'm not pregnant again!)
claudia: i LOVE that idea! i was thinking of something along those lines as i wrote this post. your in-laws are wonderful!
hedi: got it! i'm emailing you soon!
jess: yeah, i feel sorry for henry's first girlfriend. she's going to have to be like, so perfect just to be allowed anywhere near henry ;)
jess: i hope that when henry is older they too can start a tradition like this. it will be easier when henry isn't breastfeeding anymore, for sure!
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