Monday, October 12, 2009

Washington State's Not So Bad After All...

Fall is here, although it hasn't even felt like it until today. I'm getting tired of hot and muggy days, one right after the other. October is supposed to be sweater weather...this just doesn't feel right. Today, however, has been perfect. It's been raining and dark all day and even a little "chilly" (Savannah's "chilly" is like Washington's "warm"). And this morning G made pot roast with vegetables in the crock pot and it's making the whole house smell like a home. I haven't had pot roast in forever, growing up my mom used to make it all the time. It has got to be one of my favorite dishes, especially on colder days.

Last night I realized that I've gotten really bad at social situations. In Chicago I was capable of being around a group of people I barely knew. I was more outgoing, less stressed, and not awkward. I actually found going out enjoyable and looked forward to doing it. Apparently since we've moved here I've managed to loose all of that. Maybe it's the fact that we have no real friends here. It is hard going from hanging out with the same one person (thanks G) every night of the week, to being around a bunch of people your age that you hardly know. Or maybe it's the fact that I'm pregnant so I already feel like I stick out in a group of socializing peers. It's like, "Hey guys. I really have nothing in common with you...unless you've had a baby before." And it's not like you can tell people, "I really used to be good at this social stuff a few months ago. I swear I used to fun. You should have known me last year...Blah, blah, blah".

Lately I've been thinking about how much this baby is going to change our lives. There's the obvious- less sleep, fewer nights out, baby toys scattered across the house. But it's the not so obvious that's been creeping up on me lately. The baby stuff you never think about until you are actually having a kid (oh crap). Like the fact that from here on out, we are responsible for a life other than our own. Like the fact that our priorities are changing and we're really having to grow up. Fast. Like the fact that the old things will never be the same again. Like, oh crap I wish I had done more carefree, stupid things while I was only responsible for my own life.

Because starting in three months we're going to be watching our old lives quickly change into something new. We'll be saying goodbye to our old lives and accepting change. Nothing will be the same as it used to.

And while it's hard and scary to realize this, it is the most exciting and wonderful thing that we have ever experienced.

So while I might be awkward and boring, I'll raise an O'douls to our new life as a family of three and watch our priorities evolve into ones that actually matter for once.


Anonymous said...

These are some great thoughts Allie, as you and Gary prepare for your parent roles. At first it sounded sad, like it might still be an adjustment in Savannah. But I remember it took a good year for you guys to aquire friends and things you liked to do in Chicago. Remember you have only been there 4 months and already you have work, a church, people you meet on the weekends, etc! Kids are another great way to meet people. Most of my friends today came from a connection from my kids. Love, zoe

Anonymous said...

That was a great novel Allie!! I can't wait to see pics of the baby when He comes!! We just call him baby Marr when we talk about him! Ly


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